Sticks and Stones

20 May

New York City Fashion, Paris Fashion,  Lifestyle, Travel Blog: Lightweight spring coat, v-neck blouse, cigarette jeans, Celine bag, vintage dior glasses, strappy sandals
New York City Fashion, Paris Fashion,  Lifestyle, Travel Blog: Lightweight spring coat, v-neck blouse, cigarette jeans, Celine bag, vintage dior glasses, strappy sandals
homeless5
New York City Fashion, Paris Fashion,  Lifestyle, Travel Blog: Lightweight spring coat, v-neck blouse, cigarette jeans, Celine bag, vintage dior glasses, strappy sandals
New York City Fashion, Paris Fashion,  Lifestyle, Travel Blog: Lightweight spring coat, v-neck blouse, cigarette jeans, Celine bag, vintage dior glasses, strappy sandals

“You can’t change how people treat you or what they say about you. All you can change is how you react to it.” -Gandhi 

You know what is pretty easy in this life? Being broken.

Everyone seems to be broken lately (and I am no means excluding myself here)…but the way in which some people choose to handle their internal struggles in a very external way completely baffles me.

None of us want to feel broken, yet we sit here, day after day, breaking each other — throwing stones. Gossiping, lying, taking advantage of others — I cannot help but wonder, does this make them feel better? We’re wasting too much time on the petty, insignificant bullshit, for the purpose of what? Having the last word? “Winning”? Why?

I’m not claiming to be a saint or anything, but I do try to help people when I can, and provide whatever support I am capable of while attempting to still take care of my own mental stability. Whether it be an ex-boyfriend, an unpredictable “partner”, a friend or even just an acquaintance, I find myself in situations (quite frequently) where people are calling on me for assistance without even considering the fact that they aren’t the only ones on this earth in need of a helping hand. People willing to take as if they were brought into this world to live on some kind of platinum, diamond-encrusted pedestal, but never willing to pay it forward or return a favor. Perhaps it has something to do with my tendency to be quite forward, or that I come across as more “broken” than they are – I am not really sure. But lately its starting to feel like I am a magnet that attracts people who believe in one-sided support, and frankly I’m getting over it.

I pride myself on being a good friend, daughter, sibling, companion…all of that. I try really hard to be caring towards the people I love. I try and assume the best of those I don’t know well enough to love (until proven wrong). We’re all fighting battles here, and if I can help someone with their inner battle, by all means I will try to. But I am no magician…I don’t have some special glue or a blowtorch (thank god) to help meld all of the shattered glass that is “your life”. I am working on piecing together my own broken parts. And frankly I am tired of getting fucked (unless it’s in the good kind of way, of course).

Sometimes I struggle in balancing the fine line that exists between offering favors and being a straight up pushover. I have NEVER been that girl, nor will I let myself become her. So my new goal is to avoid that tightrope…to know when to turn around and walk away.

This is probably one of the more angry posts I have written, and I try to avoid doing so. But this blog isn’t about rainbows and butterflies, and frustration is part of life. My life is no exception. That said, I will end it on a positive note…

Something I learned a few years back is that nobody is going to hold your hand through this life…you are dealt a deck of cards and it is up to you, and you alone, how you choose to play them. People are going to fail you and stab you in the back, but if you keep your heart open, even after it has been broken, you will be surprised to learn that for every 2 or 3 shit people in need of a wake up call, there is at least one who is amazing enough to make up for all of the disappointment. And if that isn’t enough, there’s always Karma…and I know for sure that bitch can bite.

The people who have caused me what I’ve felt to be malicious pain in the past few weeks are likely enduring their own troubles. Troubles much worse than mine. I mean, let’s be real…I am living in Paris, my troubles are few and far between. I have nothing to complain about. And with every betrayal comes a reminder of the type of person I don’t want to be, and the type of people I don’t need to surround myself with.

The harder the hurt, the stronger the lesson learned. The better I become.

*head to toe: Vintage Dior sunglasses, W Concept trench coat, Cooper & Ella blouse, Celine handbag (similar style here), DSTLD ripped skinny jeans, Kelsi Dagger Brooklyn Lupita sandals

p.s. Special thanks to my incredible mother for sending me THIS POST during a time of need. Thank you for reminding me that being “strong-willed” is actually a beautiful thing. We’re the brats whose “fierceness will change the world”. <#

16 Lovely Comments on “Sticks and Stones”

  1. Nacy 30. Jun, 2015 at 11:31 pm #

    You look so amazing!!! great look!
    http://www.dylanqueen.com

    [Reply]

  2. missydress 30. Jun, 2015 at 11:30 pm #

    I love your style on this post! Comfy but sooo classy

    [Reply]

  3. Camila 01. Jun, 2015 at 8:13 pm #

    You posted this as I was feeling all of this. I have zero close friends and lately I have been feeling like it’s me. I must really suck, I feel like I’m definitely not cool enough to have any friends. I’ve always thought I was overall a good friend. Not perfect and totally struggle at listening and calling, but overal I like to be there for people. But I keep losing the few friends I have and often wonder if it’s me. But when I go through what people do to me I can’t help it but to know it is not me. I want friends so bad, I’ve always wanted a close group of friends. But the truth is most every one I know sucks! And if I stay friends with the few friends I do have I become a pushover. It means I have to tolerate them hurting me all the time. It means I have to settle. But it’s so lonely…

    [Reply]

    Laura Reply:

    Well my love, you sound pretty cool to me. Especially if you are able to identify what a true friendship is — many people aren’t able to do this or focus on the things that are, in my opinion, actually true values and important qualities when it comes to friendship / relationships in general. I see it as very strong of you to set standards when it comes to who you let into your world. It’s all about quality over quantity if you ask me.

    But remember that not everyone is bad. Don’t give up on people because so many amazing ones out there do exist…people who will be there for you, inspire you, and change your life for the better. Be careful who you open your heart to and make sacrifices for, but don’t close yourself off to friendship and love. And even good people and good friends do slip up from time to time…could have to do with something they are struggling with personally. Maybe they are scared and confused, too. We’re all only human, after all. :)

    We’re all fighting our own battles. In an ideal world, we’d be able to support and lean on our friends, and in turn have them know that we are here and willing to do the same. I have tried to take the disappointments I’ve experienced personally and just learn from them…let them serve as reminders of the kind of friend / person that I don’t want to be. Help me grow into a better, stronger person.

    Being lonely is hard, and a feeling I know well. I think more people out there feel like us than will admit it. Just hang in there, girl. Try and keep a positive outlook and believe that if you are good to others and stick to your guns, the right people will come into your life. Maybe when you least expect it. <3

    [Reply]

  4. Casi 01. Jun, 2015 at 1:04 pm #

    That jacket is amazing and I love your personal posts!

    http://tipandtink.com

    [Reply]

  5. Esther 29. May, 2015 at 11:42 am #

    Obsessed with that top!

    http://thegirlswhobrunch.com

    [Reply]

  6. Carly 27. May, 2015 at 12:07 pm #

    Perfectly polished outfit!
    Dresses & Denim

    [Reply]

  7. Kenguri Style (@KenguriStyle) 25. May, 2015 at 12:57 am #

    Myself the other day had a very negative post, I felt better when I typed it all here, as I told it someone who understood me and said to me that it’s like that, don’t bother. I erased this post the same day, because I didn’t wanted to people judge me because of it. It’s my personal thing, yes it was right, but who cares nowadays. Look after yourself and wish people good luck and that is the best solution. Congrats for being strong not to delete your post, cause it has such a nice pictures and a lovely girl on them!
    http://kenguristyle.com/seagull-nest/

    [Reply]

    Laura Reply:

    Sometimes it helps to just write, even if nobody is listening. I try not to be negative…actually consider myself to be the opposite. Writing has been a tool that has really helped me to see the positive in less than desirable situations, in fact. But shit happens and people hurt. I think writing is a great way to let feelings out, sort out what’s happening in your head, and learn.

    Maybe people care, maybe they don’t. But I like to do it anyway. If one person relates to me sharing my words on here it’s all worth it to me!

    Thanks for the nice note and sweet compliment. And for taking the time to comment. I do care what you have to say and appreciate the sentiment. :)

    xoxo

    [Reply]

  8. Meg 22. May, 2015 at 10:52 am #

    Yes to all of this and confronting emotional leeches. It’s all too often that relationships are one-sided and for people that actively consider others, a “conversation” can become someone else’s dialog with his/herself, which, quite frankly, becomes dull quickly for the considerate friend involved. Venting is one thing, constantly berating someone with emotional baggage and insensitive requests is another. There are fewer listeners in this world than speakers, fewer thinkers than doers. It’s important for these people (or perhaps, us) to make sure to protect how much we give of ourselves without return. They can take their soliloquy to the nearest tree… or NYC dumpster.

    [Reply]

    Laura Reply:

    I love you. Just love you.

    [Reply]

  9. Casey 21. May, 2015 at 10:26 am #

    That is why I have a small circle of friends, when things happen in life it is always disheartening to see who is really there for you when you have always been there for them. I don’t know you personally, but you seem like a great and open person. Thanks for the post, and by the way, bangs look amazing on you!

    [Reply]

  10. Liv 20. May, 2015 at 7:09 pm #

    Loving your hair and of course your whole outfit.

    Liv

    http://www.livforstyle.net

    [Reply]

  11. Samantha Keyes 20. May, 2015 at 6:56 pm #

    love you girl! I don’t have that many friends, but the ones I do have are that much more important to me. You are an incredible friend that I feel blessed to have. F*ck whoever led you to write this post. Also I need to visit you ASAP, it was one thing when it was NYC but Paris is a different ball game! Xoxoxo

    P.s. That top is gorgeous! You look smokin!

    [Reply]

    Laura Reply:

    MISS YOU TO PIECES. Love you more than words. Thanks for being one of the few tried and true, wonderful girl. <3

    [Reply]

  12. Brianna 20. May, 2015 at 6:44 pm #

    Just loving the bangs! They work perfectly on you!

    Ripped Jeans

    [Reply]

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