I’ve been in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico for the past week or so. Flew out here to witness the wedding vow renewals of our close family friends…my parents’ neighbors for the past 30 years. They were celebrating their 50th anniversary, and wanted to share it with the people who matter the most. The people who have been there for them and made their journey a magical one. Not only is the location breathtakingly beautiful, but it has been quite an honor to be included in such a special occasion. It is a refreshing reminder of what truly matters in life.
I am so blessed to have grown up with parents who have not only stayed together, but are still deeply in love after 33 years of marriage. I know how uncommon this is and have always been appreciative of the fact that I was raised in a stable home. I mean, no family is perfect, but every single day I thank my lucky stars for each quirk, strength, talent and odd personality trait that comprises our pack of weirdos. My family is my world. Living across the country has really made me treasure those rare occasions where my father, mother, brother (his amazing girlfriend), sister, and I are all able to drop our lives and be together. We are so different (even my parents are total opposites!), but I find that this has only made us stronger and more openminded individuals over the years.
I have always been a hopeless romantic, but must confess that recently I have found my beliefs wavering a bit. I’m not sure our generation has the same values and appreciation for this sentiment that I find to be so invaluable, and at times these thoughts leave me severely discouraged. Just after moving to New York, I parted ways with the man who I, for six years, thought to be the love of my life. I closed myself off emotionally for a long time, in an attempt to find a much-needed sense of independence. While I do feel that I grew quite a bit during the two years I was single, I currently find myself enduring yet another painful breakup of sorts. It doesn’t get any easier.
But I do still see all of the kisses, laughs, tears and lessons learned as precious experiences…to me these are risks worth taking.
I have made many friends, and lost a couple along the way. I put my full heart and soul into each and every relationship, and I will admit, I become somewhat attached to the people who are important to me. This is not a quality that I want to lose, but it is certainly one that has caused me pain.
All of this being said, at the end of the day, I am not a quitter. And while the struggles I have endured over the past several months have been significant, I still have to believe that it’ll all be worthwhile in the end. I am far from perfect, but I won’t stop trying to find happiness and fulfillment. I am confident that one day I will.
So, yep, I will remain a hopeless romantic. I am grateful for each battle that has made me stronger, and will continue to embrace whatever the future might throw at me. Hopefully I find someone to share my life with, but even if I don’t, I’m still pretty damn lucky to be living the life that I live….to be in the most amazing city in the world, have wonderful friends, and an incredible family. I am lucky to have myself.
Things come and things go, and nobody can foresee what tomorrow might bring. What I do know is who I am, what I believe in, and the kind of person I will always strive to be. And I guess at 26, that is probably enough.
Baby, just keep on movin’.
*head to toe: KAS New York maxi dress, vintage heels