I guess you could say I’m a girl who tends to live her life on the edge. I often times put myself in situations that people aren’t exactly thrilled about. And while the last thing I ever want to do is cause stress to my loved ones, my life and the personal choices I make are not something I am really willing to apologize for. Whether it be the clothes I wear, the time I decide to go to sleep at night, the person I choose to date, or the words I write on this blog…I am going to continue to roll with it the way I see fit.
I am not referring to the kind of apologies that are of course necessary if you fuck up or hurt another person unintentionally, or ignorantly wrong someone who is undeserving…I am talking about standing by a mentality that has come to rule my life and my decisions. Some of them good, some bad, some based solely on emotions, some spontaneous, and some that I just cannot explain. But I learn new lessons every single day. And through applying these lessons, being open-minded, working hard, taking risks, opening my heart, and, of course, dealing with many a consequence, I do feel that I am in the process of becoming a person I’m actually pretty proud of. Some may disagree, and that’s cool…I’m still not going to apologize.
Some people find contentment in stability, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Often times I strive for that life of stability. Who doesn’t want to feel safe and comfortable, after all? Nevertheless, I tend to wind up on this wild roller coaster ride, time and time again. It is far from easy…especially emotionally. But the way I see it, you cannot truly enjoy the highs without also experiencing the lows. And my highs are not something I am willing to give up, even if it does mean facing some extra challenges along the way. Because, at the end of the day, I live for those breathtaking moments of feeling young, wild and free…feeling inspired, passionate and successful…feeling in love. To me these experiences are everything.
Photos by Jono Bernstein