I always heard people say that in New York they could be in the most crowded room, surrounded by excitement and interesting, stimulating people, yet still feel completely alone. I am no stranger to loneliness, and I think this is an emotion we all must feel from time to time. That said, I never really grasped how much these words rang true for me until I decided to leave New York three months ago.
I should start by saying that I love that NYC in such a unique and special way. I did so much growing up there, and am a much stronger individual for the trials and tribulations I was faced with along the way. But there will never come a day where driving over that bridge into the city won’t give me butterflies. It is energy in the purest of forms: a place fueled by ambition, adventure and chaos. I love that I lived there, but I love that I left when I did.
Paris has been an amazing and refreshing change of pace for me. However, I am currently on a (hopefully short-lived) French hiatus, spending July in California, as I sort out my visa situation. The process is frustrating, but I am trying to make the most of it…
I am a creative person. I thrive when working on creative projects and pursuing out-of-the-box ideas. I love working but it is also extremely important to me that I am working for the right reasons. I cannot handle living a life where my job leaves me unfulfilled. In my mind, that is just signing myself up for an unfulfilling life.
That said, I do hit roadblocks aplenty, where I lose stimulation. Sometimes this requires “falling off the grid”, so to speak, and doing everything I can to clear my head and revitalize my mind. Fortunately I have likeminded friends who not only understand this but also experience similar challenges, working in similar industries…
So, I spent the past couple days embarking on a mini-road trip with one of my nearest and dearest friends, Liz, absorbing the polar opposite of what I am used to. Exploring the many, many wonders of the vast and almost entirely vacant desert (and take my word, there is some quirky shit out there), driving on empty roads, and singing to Fleetwood Mac – reflecting on what is actually important in life the whole way through.
Sometimes it is the only way to remember everything is to see and feel nothing for a minute. To just let go and live.
Photos by Liz Cherkasova