“I understand why we get stuck sometimes. Hearts are stubborn. They sink their hooks into bad habits that look like people and dreams. But look at how much we give of ourselves. Our most precious gifts handed over to another who may, or may not, value them as much as we do. Have you ever heard someone fall asleep? Or watched someone break down? There’re so few people in this world who you can share breakfast at midnight with, or who can completely forgive you. The people who get you to believe that it’s all actually worth it – and don’t flinch when you look them in the eyes, never waver, and make the bed more comfortable. So when you find them, you, in a way, find yourself. And when you lose them, you, in a way, lose yourself. But know this: you will always be too much for anyone not enough. Somewhere out there is someone who will bring pieces of you home. And you’ll realize that losing everything is the only way to figure out what’s worth finding.” J. Raymond
I think this quote just about covers everything running through my scared, sad, confused mind right now. I’ve never had an issue expressing or writing about my weaknesses and discomforts. In fact, I find it to be therapeutic. I enjoy being honest and relatable. However, out out of respect for some very important people in my life — people I love — there are certain things I do keep private.
The way I see it, life is challenging and beautiful and something to be shared. Weird, difficult things should be talked about. Even if only for the purpose of making them feel less weird and difficult.
Love is amazing, and love is hard. Love and heartbreak are normal, gut-wrenching, mind-flipping emotions that can drive a person mad. Passionate expression, and nonsensical arguments might make you feel like you’ve done something wrong. But maybe that’s not the case at all. Maybe it’s just that, as J. Raymond states, “you will always be too much for anyone not enough.”
Perhaps I will wind up alone with 12 cats because I’m “too much” — too stubborn to succumb to a situation that doesn’t fulfill the idealistic romance I have planned for myself. But cats aren’t that bad and, if nothing else, I’m pretty sure they’d always be down to share breakfast with me at midnight.
head to toe: And Other Stories cashmere beanie (more winter hats), Dana Bronfman Pyramid Stud Earrings and Triangle Stacking Ring, striped turtleneck from Primark (click here for a striped sweater assortment), Pologeorgis hooded fur vest, swing jacket from W Concept, high-waited leather pants by Coach (more leather leggings here), Acne Pistols (and some additional styles to boot)
Photos by Lydia Hudgens