“She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles.” -E. Corona
We all face struggle and hardships, and handle things differently. People hurt in varying ways and my personal opinion is there is no right or wrong way to feel.
Sometimes we cry and crumble, genuinely believing we won’t be able to put the broken pieces back together the way they once were. I used to feel this way all the time. Then I realized I could view a difficult situation as an opportunity to rebuild a stronger version of myself instead…someone less fragile.
Some of us are more vocal about our emotions than others — we kick and we scream, and see to it that our voices are heard loud and clear. People might call it anger, but what’s wrong with being angry when someone hurts you? Under the circumstances I speak of, I call it strength, awareness, and self-respect. I am not a cruel or negative person. In fact, I consider myself the exact opposite. But I have been forced to evolve into a woman who can protect herself, because I’m tired of being stomped on.
“If he’s the guy, nothing you can say will ever fuck it up. You cannot do love wrong.
We have emotional needs–be needy.
Be “too much” or say the wrong things.
Fuck, we all say the wrong fucking things. And how many of us don’t use protest behaviour and distancing techniques and likely games–and all of these are trying to protect us from “doing it wrong” and being hurt or hurting somebody. Your person will see you trying to sabotage or withholding communicating something hard and create a loving space for it to be heard. Your person will want to exceed your emotional needs. Your person will not be able to get enough of you. They will hold you kicking and screaming into commitment and intimacy if you need it and when you ask why, they will just smile and wonder how you cannot see your brilliance, worth and beauty.
Say too much, say too little–you cannot do love wrong, you cannot fuck up the unfuckable and love is the strongest thing alive.”
AMEN, SISTER. When you live in fear of fucking up, you aren’t in the loving relationship you deserve. When you are expressing yourself and being so brave that you can share your heart, but receive shame for so, you could be in a dangerous place. Get out.
So feel what you want to feel, say what you want to say, do what you want to do (just make sure you don’t become a walking contradiction, and continue to respect the feelings of others if you want yours to be respected). If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. End of story.
“Leave it alone. The past is the past,” he said. He spoke and I listened. I agreed he was right.
Photography by Alexandra Petruck