While I think Valentine’s Day is a completely reasonable excuse to get drunk and naked, I also stand firm in my belief that considering it an actual holiday is a bit of a stretch. Maybe I’m just being bitter…really, to each their their own, I suppose. However, my personal opinion is that this day adds unnecessary pressure to our already stressful lives. Managing to stay in a healthy relationship is difficult enough, so why make it even harder?
For the singles out there February 14th is, best case scenario, depressing. The older we get, the more likely we are to fall victim to triggers that ignite erratic behavior which could land us in jail, rehab or surrounded by cats. SO many cats.
If you do happen to be in a relationship, which I actually typically have been in the past, Valentine’s Day is still annoying. Seriously, aren’t there already enough fucking holidays to celebrate? Like birthdays and anniversaries, and Christmas, Hanukkah, etc?! Do we really need another one? Not just that, but one we must share with all the other couples?
If a designated date is required to serve as a reminder that that you are in love, perhaps you, umm, aren’t (just saying). And, since on this day, everyone is supposed to be EXTRA “in love” you better plan way ahead, because if you don’t you won’t get a reservation anywhere and the night will most likely end in tears. It is just seems like such an unnecessary burden! Perhaps this is why I have set the bar quite low and my idea of a dream date is going to McDonald’s with a flask in my bag and getting a cheeseburger Happy Meal. If he picks up the check, rad! If we happen to hold hands…super romantic. And at least I know we’ll be in good company.
The way I see it, men and women should buy flowers and chocolates for their significant others when they feel like it…which is hopefully not never (if that’s the case perhaps this IS actually an important reminder to inform your deprived companion that you sort of care about them, when you aren’t too busy forgetting they exist).
I also think that it is our god-given right to pick and choose when we’d like to go down on one another…something that, again, shouldn’t be a task. Sex is supposed to be fun, no?
Anyway, while I am still inclined to boycott this romantic spectacle, and vote against Cupid, we all know votes don’t matter at this point. So take it, you stupid little cherub, and bring Hallmark right along with you. I’m throwing in the towel. There are bigger fish to fry, after all.
In conclusion, I have decided to quit with the cynicism (starting now), treat myself to a fancy hotel in Paris I can’t totally afford, and wear a red, satin negligee, while prancing around in my new favorite Italian leather pumps…they’re appropriately decorated with pretty pink and red lips that happen to perfectly match the ones on my face. Like I said, to each their own! Happy…whatever. xoxo