You may have noticed I’ve been OffTheRacks lately… but I’m still here, alive and well.
There are many factors that led me to take a breather from publicly posting what I write (and what I wear). This blog was born from a desire to share my style in a way that pushed me creatively, and an effort to conquer certain insecurities. It helped me step outside my comfort zone and realize just how many women endure similar experiences to the ones I’ve encountered. We’re all different, but sometimes not that different.
Lately this whole blogger “thing” is feeling a bit diluted to me, quite frankly. And I say this humbly and respectfully, as I do know many incredible content creators, who I admire tremendously, that are certainly providing us with something special. I am speaking in general terms…
Personally, it has been tough to feel as excited about shooting photos and sharing new posts as I used to. The past six months have presented me with a wild, unexpected assortment of life changes. With all the ups and downs, I’ve come to find a little bit of peace in accepting that I may never actually have a clue as to what I’m doing in life. This is a thought that can either be scary, or fun. I choose fun. Nobody really has it figured out. We’re all on different journeys, falling down and climbing back up separately…but also together.
I recently moved out of my apartment in Silver Lake. It was a challenging decision, as I thought I’d finally found a place to stay a while, and turn into a home. That just wasn’t the case, for a number of reasons. Society puts a lot of pressure on us to be a certain way, do what is expected, fit a particular mold, or reach specific milestones as we “grow up”, based on a set timeframe that does not work out for everyone. Again, we’re all different. Maybe not that different, but different enough that these “rules” don’t always need to be followed. In fact, these rules can suck it, if you ask me.
I am 30 years old, technically homeless, and feeling astonishingly OK about the whole thing. I can either obsess about what I feel I should be doing (which is often times unattainable or unquestionably not what I want right now), or just go with the flow and do what feels right.
I’m able to travel where I want, whenever I want. I work for an incredible company with some amazing side projects that keep me professionally stimulated. I have a wonderful family and amazing friends. I have finally learned just how liberating it can be to focus on myself, for a change. What good can I be to the people I love if I am not caring for myself first and foremost?
Right now I’m back and forth between Los Angeles and San Francisco (with spastic, exciting trips to various places around the world). It is trying, but in such a good way.
Spending much more time in SF brings back memories of the bright eyed girl I was 13 years ago, venturing off to live in the City by the Bay. I had hopes and dreams that couldn’t be more different from what my life evolved into – but I really like my life. And I love San Francisco. The Clift Royal Sonesta Hotel remains one of my favorite spots to stay, and has become a very comfortable and stylish place to be while I take a breather, realign, and figure out what comes next.
It is OK to hit the reset button. It doesn’t matter how old you are, what you’ve done, what you thought you’d be doing, or what other people expect from you. What matters at the end of the day is what makes you happy.
So here I am now – starting over, yet again. And this time, like every time in the past, I am doing so with more experience, knowledge, and hope than I had previously. I am ready for what’s next, even though I don’t exactly have a set plan. Either way, it’s good to know there’s a friendly place for me to rest my head in one of the best cities in the world…with views so good you could consider a late night spent gazing out at the skyline a therapy session on its own.
*The Clift Royal Sonesta Hotel is a century-old timeless gem, combining contemporary architecture and glamour with old-world elegance and modern comfort. The hotel draws inspiration from the city and boasts a decidedly artful and local décor. The art deco Redwood Room dates back to 1933 and features original redwood paneling. Located walking distance from San Francisco’s shopping and financial districts, The Clift has long been considered one of the world’s best small hotels.